


"God This is Like James Bond"

by burittosupreme



Series: God This is Like The Movies [2]
Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: F/F, Human!Lena, I Don't Really Know What Was Going On While I Wrote This, Lena Is Cartoonishly Evil, She Is Just A Gay!Mess™, Vampire!Kara, Werewolf!Alex, agent!Alex, improper use of tags
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-23
Updated: 2018-07-23
Packaged: 2019-06-15 05:24:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,232
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15405924
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/burittosupreme/pseuds/burittosupreme
Summary: “You have the convincing skills of a pigeon.”“I’ve seen many people give pigeons food.”“Kara this is serious.”“I am serious.” Her sister let out a huff of frustration, she didn’t want Kara to be hurt but she also had a right to know. “Alex your acting like she’s the CEO of a secretly evil company.”





	"God This is Like James Bond"

**Author's Note:**

> Please Comment and Kudos I live For The Validation

“This is so gay, Alexa play Hayley Kiyoko.” Alex said once Lena left the room because Kara was staring at her like she was an all you can eat blood buffet for 99 cents at lunchtime. The blonde snapped up at that, blushing furiously.

 

“Alexa no, Alex stop it. We don’t even know if she’s gay.” Alex gave her a look like she was the singular most stupid person to have ever existed. “Oh, wait, yeah, yeah she is. And don’t look at me like that, you know it’s very hard for me to pick up on social cues.”

 

“She literally told me you two were about to make out. And you were the one who said you were going to turn her on.” Alex couldn’t help but poke fun at her baby sister.

 

“I said I was going to turn her.” Kara huffed out and looked down, trying to calm the furious blush that was appearing on her face and neck.

 

“Same difference with the way you guys were about to suck face and I'm sure your girlfriend would agree.” Kara had been single for about a year and a half and Alex was going to milk her showing interest in someone for all it’s worth.

 

“For the last time she's not my girlfriend.” Kara retorted, almost yelling it before she could level her voice out.

 

Alex almost snorted with how whiney and annoyed Kara sounded, she almost forgot how fun annoying her sister could be. “I beg to differ.”

 

“Then beg,” Alex nearly fell off the couch with Lena’s sudden interjection, surprised she let out a “Jesus fuck” that she quickly covered up as a cough.

 

“Lena,” Kara blushed bright red as she stood up. “How much of that did you hear?” 

 

“Enough. You know you don’t have to stand up every time someone enters a room, right?” Lena asked as she sat down and handed Alex a bottle of “That is for you. Now what’s this about a girlfriend?”

 

“Just that she’s single.” Alex quickly said while looking intently at the bottle Lena had handed her. It certainly looked expensive so she wasn’t going to complain. She could see Lena smile at how impressed she looked out of the corner of her eye. “Thank you, Lena. I’m going to have to drink with you more often.”

 

“It was my pleasure, now Kara how are you single? I mean you must have some admirers. ”

 

“I, I mean I do, but it’s not like, they um, with stuff, and such. So you know.” Kara was back to stuttering and blushing like an anime school girl and Lena thought it was to cutest thing she had ever seen.

 

“Can’t say I do know, unfortunately. And I do believe a girlfriend is close on your horizon.”

 

“How do you know that?” Kara was confused and wringing her hands and Alex enjoyed watching her squirm with such blatant flirting going on.

 

“Just ask me.” Lena and Alex both couldn’t help but start laughing at how fast Kara turned her head to look at Lena. She herself was surprised the couch didn’t crack with the force she used. “Can I ask you a few questions other questions Alex? I mean I know I already picked Kara but I have to say I am curious”

 

“Sure ask away, as long as Kara’s here I'm here.”

 

“Alex, why, you have a girlfriend go to her.” Kara asked in a whiny tone, clearly wanting more alone time with Lena.

 

“Let’s not open up that can of worms right now please. And I'm not about to let you and Lena make lady babies.”

 

“You know that's impossible.”

 

“Not with the way you two were eye fucking.” Alex said with a smirk she saw Kara wrinkle her nose at she crass language.

 

Lena snickered “Agent I assure you it's completely safe.”

 

“Thank you Lena,” Turning to Alex Kara smiled thinking she finally had the upper hand. “See Alex it's fine.”

 

“Yeah Alex, Kara is wearing glasses after all.” At that Kara groaned and Alex let out a full belly laugh.

 

“I like this one you should keep her.” Alex patted Kara’s leg while nodding her head.

 

“What is this pick on Kara night?” Kara huffed out, she knew her sister meant the best but it still sucked to be the one getting teased.

 

“No but you make it so easy.”

 

“She's right you know.”

 

“All right Lena hit me with some questions.”

 

“Can you get drunk?”

 

“Of course that's the first thing you ask me, yes I can get drunk. Thank god.”

 

“What do you do when there's a full moon

 

“There's special holding cells at where I work I usually put myself in there for the night

 

“So you're a cop?”

 

“Her girlfriend is a cop.”

 

“We do not need to bring her up in this conversation, Kara. And I’m not a cop, I work for the government.”

 

“So FBI?”

 

“I'm not really allowed to say,” Alex drained the rest of her whiskey, looking thoughtfully into the glass. “But you know what fuck it, Kara is going to turn you anyway.  I work for the DEO.”

 

“What the hell is a DEO?”

 

“The department of extranormal operations and now that I've told you you're going to have a shit ton of paperwork to sign.”

 

“That’s not a problem I'm familiar with paperwork.”

 

“Unless you’re the CEO or something.” Lena gave her a pointed look. “Holy shit, good job on picking them rich Kara”

  
  
  


Lena laughed, “Usually the reaction I get when I tell people that fact is a marriage proposal, better keep up darling.” The term of endearment just slipped out and even though she didn’t mean it (she did) she decided to roll with it. “Now about these cells, agent, what's in there I mean what do you do”

 

“You know you don’t have to call me agent right, and there's nothing in the cell. I would probably just end up tearing it apart. My pack and I have been trying to find an abandoned building or something to go to that wouldn’t attract a lot of civilian attention.”

 

“Well if you're interested I do happen to have a mansion out in the countryside. There's miles and miles of forest surrounding to that you can roam around in with your pack during those nights.”

 

“I might just take you up on that offer,” Alex’s phone started ringing. Glancing at the number she stood up, looking apologetically at Lena. “Sorry but I have to take this. It’s work. I’m going to take my leave, be safe Kara.” With that the agent left quickly taking the whiskey glass with her.

 

“I guess I’ll use that as my leave too, Lena I hope to see you soon. The best way to find me is lunchtime at this restaurant called Noonan’s”

 

“I hope to see you again too, I’ll stop by when I have time.” Just as Kara was about to cross the doorway to leave Lena called her back. “Please tell Alex to return my whiskey glass please.”

 

Blushing, Kara realized she was hoping Lena would have asked her to stay. “Oh, right. I’ll see you at Noonan’s sometime?”

 

“Sometime.” With that Kara walked out and Lena shut the door behind her. She was going to murder Alex for interrupting them.

  
  
  


///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

  
  
  


“Your the CEO of what company!?!?!?”

 

“Shhh, I’m the CEO of L-Corp. Why are you freaking out? I said I’d tell you later.”

 

“You could have warned me instead of blurting it out in the middle of a date.”

 

“Well it slipped my mind and when I remembered it seemed like a good idea to tell you”

 

“You could have at least been like “Oh hey Kara I’m going to tell you the company I’m the CEO of so don’t be shocked when I say it.”

 

“I’m still not sure why your so shocked I mean to you not like my company?”

 

“Not like? Lena, I love your company, they make the best frozen potstickers I have ever tasted. And not to mention the brilliance of glitter that dissolves in water, I mean usually it would be a week later and you still have random glitter everywhere. And the sticky buns, oh my god the sticky buns. They are the absolute best, I mean they taste like if an angel had a baby with bread. Not that I'm saying an angel would do it with a piece of bread. I mean-”

 

“Kara your rambling again”

 

“Oh right im sorry”

 

“No don’t be sorry it's quite impressive actually, I mean going from desert to an angel defiling a piece of bread. Very adorable but i do have a question”

 

“Is it about a second date?”

 

“Not quite, that comes later. I’m just wondering how you like food so much when you can’t eat it”

 

“Well I said I can’t digest food, I can still eat it. I can eat anything if I’m in the mood for it” that sounded a lot more innocent in her head. “I actually enjoy eating quite a lot.”

 

“And you still have abs, Kara Danvers you might just be my dream girl.”

  
  
  


///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

  
  
  


“Wait your girlfriend is who?” Alex nearly spit out her drink in surprise.

 

She is not my girlfriend, at least not yet and i said her name is Lena Luthor

 

Lena Luthor as in CEO of L-Corp Lena Luthor

 

Yeah, she told me so herself

 

Lena Luthor as in CEO of L-Corp the weapons manufacturer Lena Luthor

 

Yes we have established who she is, and I wouldn’t go as far to say they manufacture weapons They make edible glitter and food

 

You would be surprised how much damage you can do with glitter and food   
  


  
  


*Flashback*

\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\

  
  
  


The reason Alex got a work call the night she met Lena was because the DEO had found a warehouse that had suspicious activity surrounding it. They had been monitoring it for weeks and had nothing to show for and would have given up if it had not been for an anonymous tip they had gotten about plans for its use showed up.

 

That's how she ended up at sad warehouse, tied up in weird feeling rope and unable to see anything. It was so dark that she would have thought she was blindfolded if it weren’t for the faint glow of an exit sign off to the side of the room.

 

Said exit opened suddenly to real a faint light and the outline of what she assumed to be a woman, but before she could make out anything in the other room the door shut and she was bathed in darkness once again.

 

She could make out the soft click of the woman’s shoes walking slowly towards her. ‘How can this person see in pi-’ Alex stopped mid-thought when she head the woman bump into something, followed by a loud clunk and a soft “Oh shit.” Well that answered her question.

 

Suddenly she was bathed in a harsh overhead white light that quickly diminished into a pale much more manageable light with another soft exclamation from the woman of “Fuck” this time. Alex heard a soft buzzing noise then what she assumed to be a projector turned on with a title screen of ‘Hello Agent Danvers’ showing.

 

“Hello Agent Danvers,” Alex thought she recognized the voice from somewhere, she just couldn’t place it. “Now that I have your attention do you have any questions before the presentation. Once started you must hold all questions, comments, and concerns until the end of the slideshow. Thank you in advance for your cooperation.”

 

“Why’d you tie me up.” Maybe if Alex stalled the woman long enough she could get free and figure a way out.

 

“So I have enough time to monologue,” the woman said simply, as if an idiot could figure it out.

 

“You’re not going to get away with this.”

 

“Oh but I already have.” The woman laughed with mirth, oh how Alex just wanted to punch her.

 

“No your really not because these ropes are very easy to break through.”

 

“Yes but have you considered that I did the calculations and I found the exact amount of rope I would need to hold you long enough for the monologue?” Damn that woman, whoever she is.

 

‘That explains why there's at least 7 feet of rope tied around me,’ Alex thought as she looked at the at least 7 feet of rope that was around her. ‘But it doesn’t explain why its made of gummy strings.’

 

“Why is the rope made of gummy strings, I mean why not buy regular rope, much easier to keep hostages tied up in.”

 

“It's made of gummies cause they were what was available and, well I didn't think to buy actual rope.” The woman sputtered out her sentence petulantly.

 

Alex laughed a full bellied laugh. “Yeah that’s obvious. I mean why go through all this trouble when you haven’t even thought it through completely?” The redhead stuck her tongue out at her capture who huffed and stomped her feet like a five year old who just lost a game of some sort.

 

“You know what, your the hostage here so shut up. And you just lost your question privileges so ha, take that. Now for the monologue. Tell me agent, do you know what L-Corp actually stands for?”

 

She knew she had heard that voice before. She knew who’s it was, suddenly it all made sense. Lena’s reluctance to tell Kara and her which company she ran and, and, and well that really all it cleared up for the agent. “Luthor or Lena Corporations perhaps?” she stressed the word Lena on purpose, hoping to rile the woman in question up.

 

“Bravo on figuring out who I am. And that’s what we want the public to think. But it secretly stands for,” Alex heard Lena click a button and the screen changed, “Lesbians (and other sapphics alike)-Combining Our Rage in Pettiness.”

 

Alex scoffed, “Why are you doing this? What’s your goal?”

 

“Well um you know, with uh that, and such. So yeah.” Alex laughed and opened her mouth to say something when Lena interrupted her. “You know what shut up I don’t have to listen to you.” The redhead heard another click and the screen changed once again.

 

Pictures of riots begin to flash across the screen, burning cars and buildings collapsing. Alex had thought Lena was just a small time criminal but these pictures were serious, like trying to destabilize entire governments serious.

 

“Shit no that’s not it, sorry, that’s an article about the president visiting the UK, now if I can just,” Lena hits a couple more buttons and the correct picture pop up. “Ah yes here they are.”

 

Pictures of cars with dicks spray painted on them, cans of paint that clearly says navy blue with sky blue in it instead. A car with a slightly smaller front right tire than the rest. Plans to paint a giant reflective bean in non reflective silver. Plans for remaking Subway’s color theme to be neon pink and an artificial blue.

 

She couldn’t look anymore. She tore her eyes from the screen, “Why would you make Subways new colors neon pink and food dye blue you sick son of a bitch, they don’t go together and they aren’t food related at all!”

 

She was almost free of the ropes, just a few more feet. Lena smiled and hit another button. The exit on the side of the room opened and in came two burly women. “That’s all you got? I can take them on!” she shouted at the brunette.

 

Lena just smiled and spread her arms into a t-pose and was lifted off the ground by the silent women. Laughing she let them carry her out the side exit. The door closed just as Alex got untied completely.

 

Dammit, she almost had her, she swore not let her get away with it next time. She had to tell Kara who this woman really was.

 

*End Flashback*

 

“Kara don't you think it's strange how Lena agreed to be turned so readily?”

 

“No,” Alex gave her a pointed look, “I can be persuasive!” was Kara’s defense, and even she looked unsure.

 

“You have the convincing skills of a pigeon.”

 

“I’ve seen many people give pigeons food.”

 

“Kara this is serious.”

 

“I am serious.” Her sister let out a huff of frustration, she didn’t want Kara to be hurt but she also had a right to know. “Alex your acting like she’s the CEO of a secretly evil company.”

 

Alex took a deep breath, not knowing how her sister would react to something this terrible. Letting it out, she said it in as simple terms as possible. “She is.”

 

“WHAT!!!” Kara jumped up at the accusation, knees hitting the table and nearly cracking it in half.

 

“Shhhh, sit. She is, okay.”

 

“Alex you can't go around making accusations like this without proof.” Kara crossed her arms refusing to believe that Lena was evil. Lena would only be evil in a universe where their lives where a TV show with shitty production heads doing it for shock value.

 

“I do have proof,” Alex pulled out a section of gummy rope from her pocket. She set it on the table gently and batted Kara’s hand away when her sister tried to swipe it.

 

“What?” Kara’s face was beyond confused. She was starting to think this was one very stupid prank. “How are gummies proof?” 

 

“No its a gummy rope, she had me tied up in this stuff while she told me her evil plans.”

 

“Why would she tell you her evil plans, that makes no sense.”

 

“She’s evil, it’s what evil people do. They capture people trying to take them down and conveniently tell them their plans.

 

“What were they exactly and can I eat that?” Kara didn’t seem interested in the conversation near as much as the days old gummy that was in a pocket.

 

“No Kara you cannot its evidence and you have food right in front of you.”

 

“But is not gummies.” Kara whined, and seriously she’s a vampire, how good could a gummy taste to her?

 

Alex snapped her fingers in Kara’s face, who blinked and shook her head. “Kara focus, she has already started. Changing Subway’s color theme to colors that clash, changing bike tires to sizes that don’t match the bike and putting wrongly colored paint in clearly labeled cans. That’s her plans.”

 

“That doesn’t sound that evil to me.”

 

“You weren’t there. You didn’t see the look in her eyes. Well actually I didn’t either, it was kinda dark in there but that's not the point.”

 

“What is the point?” 

 

“That she’s bad, and you should be careful,” Alex said. Looking at her sister still looking at the gummy rope she sighed, “Fine you can have it.”

 

Looking at it like she has never seen something so delicious in her entire life, she picked it up only to frown.

 

“On second thought, you may be right.” Kara stood up suddenly gathering her things, “Tell me what I need to do.”

 

On the table was the gummy rope, etched into it was ‘Lesbians (and other sapphics alike)-Combining Our Rage in Pettiness.’

 

“God this is like James Bond,” Kara muttered under her breath as she followed Alex out of the restaurant. 

**Author's Note:**

> Don't have a beta so all mistakes are my own. If you have any suggestions as to where the story should go please comment or visit my Tumblr of the same name.


End file.
